Laughter

Laughter is in fact good medicine.  It is also a good coping mechanism to help you get through a stressful situation.  Other times we need a distraction for a few moments to clear our minds.  In light of these I bring you the following which might fit both bills.

• Why is it a package transported by ship is cargo while a package transported by car is a shipment?
• If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
• Why do we put garments is a suitcase and suits in a garment bag?
• Why do tug boats push?
• Why do we call the benches at the ball park stands when they are made for sitting?
• Why do we call them apartments when they are stuck together?
• Why is phonics not spelled the way is sounds?
• Why is abbreviation such a long word?
• Who was the cruel person who put an "S" in the word lisp?
• Why does the word "monosyllabic" have 5 syllables?
• How can there be interstate highways in Hawaii?
• We know the speed of light is 299,792,458 meters per second.  What is the speed of dark?
• If it is 0 degrees outside today and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
• Why are there Braille dots on drive up ATM's?
• Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
• Why do we call it a building if it is already built?
• If corn oil comes from corn, olive oil comes from olives, and vegetable oil comes from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
• If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
• Is there another word for thesaurus?  
• Is there another word for synonym?
• How can there be self help groups?
• If you ask the librarian where to find the self help books should she tell you or would that defeat the purpose?
• If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?
• If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
• What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• At the movie theater, which arm rest is yours?
• How far east must you travel before you are traveling west?
• Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
• What is the difference between regular ketchup and fancy ketchup?
• When does it stop being party cloudy and becoming partly sunny?
• How can an item be new and improved.  If it is new, what was it improving on?
• Ever notice that lemon scented cleaners have real lemon but lemon flavored drinks have artificial flavors?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there a 4 billion stars in the sky but have to check when you tell them the paint is wet?
• Why do we have to click the start button to turn off the computer?
• Why are boxing rings square?
• Why does one recite at a play but play at a recital? 
• If superman can dodge a speeding bullet, why does he need to duck when someone swings a chair at him?
• Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
• Where do homeless people have 90% of their accidents?
• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
• How is it that we put men on the moon before we figured wheels on luggage is a good idea?
• Is atheism a non-prophet organization?
• What if there were no hypothetical situations?
• Is it possible to have a civil war?
• Light travels faster than sound.  Is that why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak?
• We were taught that the universe includes everything.  Scientists are claiming the universe is expanding.  What is it expanding into.
• I before E except after C...except the word science...
• Why is it called re-search when we are looking for something new?
• Why do we wait until a pig is dead before we cure it?
• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who was the fool who said quit while you're ahead?
• What ever happened to preparations A through G?
• Who is General Failure and why is he trying to read my hard disk?
• What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?
• Why are wrong number never busy?

Have a great weekend!